At my most beautiful.

My parents are the best thing that has happened to me. I am indeed a very lucky person to have them on my side, all the time. I, on the other hand, am still trying to make them happy/proud/lucky that I am on their side. I feel that I used to have this one spark in me that died in the past year. The spark reassured me that I was good enough to be part of this family, my family. Every passing day, I try to find that spark again. And yet, I give up on it by the end of the day. I won't stop trying though. Try everyday, everyhour.

My parents really are the best and I pray for them everyday. I pray that we all can grow old together. My family of four is brilliant, we are even better in the bigger picture when we are with our chachu, mamus, phupos, etc. I actually have a functional family unlike some people I know. I actually LOVE to hangout at home with my folks than out in some party or a mall with friends. Maybe because I am at my happiest with them that I never wanted to give into the peer pressure of the clubbing/drugs business. I like being clean and I am doing my level best to get rid of the wrong kind of socialising in my life. The socialising whereby you spend hours trying to fix up the other person's life. You go as far as losing sleep over them and making international calls at weird hours of the day. All for what?For people, you haven't met, nor will ever meet but just know through someone or something in many cases(re: forums,msn). What a waste I am. What a waste.

Abu and Ami talked the other day and he asked her a few things about Sarah and I. It broke my heart, it really did. I hate how ami broke into tears when she talked to me about what he said. All he asked about was school and to tell us that 'bachay parho aur kuch nahi'. They deserve better, everyday. I can't change history but I can make/change whats to come. I going to be that better for them. I will do anything and everything to be that better. That better that I should(should've already been) be and the better that they deserve.

InshAllah!