deal.

Ami is back home now, Alhamdulilah. I hope her labs were okay. I guess we have to wait till the 27th to find out. Its just scary, fall, a scary time. September started off with a bang, really. Abaji is gone. Its been hard. I still can't accept his death and its hard. Last year and this year, we have had many a trips to SGH. As much as I love hospitals, the sight of her in that horrible bed and that blue gown is just something I cant stand. I have been thinking a lot about stuff lately and I don't think that I can deal with sick parents, I just cant. I am the eldest and can't show any tears even when the doctor is ripping apart someone who you love more than anything else in this world. I am abus' eyes and ears here so can't let a worry line slip or a tear in front of anyone. But I am scared, scared for them. I know that its a part of life and I can do sickness just fine but parents being sick is just a league of its own. September and october are such hard months. There is that horrible earthquake, the cousins lost, the home, the friends and then there is abaji's death, the two thyroidectomies, uff. It just better be okay. I seriously play that it is. Not TB, not cancer, nothing major, please. I just can't deal and be all grownup.