Tear down these walls for me now

This is so hard for me
To find the words to say
My thoughts are standing still

Captive inside of me
All emotions start to hide
And nothing's getting through

Watch me
Fading
I'm losing
All my instincts
Falling into darkness

Tear down these walls for me
Stop me from going under
You are the only one who knows
I'm holding back

It's not too late for me
To keep from sinking further
I'm trying to find my way out
Tear down these walls for me now

So much uncertainty
I don't like this feeling
I'm sinking like a stone

Each time I try to speak
There's a voice I'm hearing
And it changes everything

Watch me
Crawl from
The wreckage
Of my silence
Conversation
Failing

Tear down these walls for me
Stop me from going under
You are the only one who knows
I'm holding back

It's not too late for me
To keep from sinking further
I'm trying to find my way out
Tear down these walls

Every time you choose to turn away
Is it worth the price you pay
Is there someone who will wait for you
One more time
One more time

Watch me
Fading
I'm losing
All my instincts
Falling into darkness

Tear down these walls for me
Stop me from going under
You're the only one who knows
I'm holding back

It's not too late for me
To keep from sinking further
I'm trying to find my way out
Tear down these walls for me now

Tear down these walls for me now
It's not too late for me
Tear down these walls for me now

(These Walls_ Dream Theater)

This song is MY song. It feels like Petrucci and his men are playing it to me. It fits so-so well. I have been hooked on it since last summer when the album came out. It was my playlist in London, when I went back to kathmandu and ofcourse, the last time I stepped foot in Muzaffarabad, the city that we/I had seen/known it to be(before it became a massive burial ground). It send off all these noises in my head that should make me scream out loud, but rather I am numb and unable to do anything. The fact that I am not the same passionate person I once was. This passive aggressive bull that Maynard kept on mentioning might have gottten to me along with that darn earthquake that had to kill the wrong people and leave ones (me) to hear about the rubble. Fuck man, I don't even talk to anyone anymore. I have these lovely new friends, but the old ones,the ones I was crazed about last year?Hardly, ever talk. Its good though, less drama. But everytime anyone wants to know whats in my head, I keep on thinking about my friends back home. I haven't heard what happened to any of them after the earthquake. It wasn't fair man. Not all of them.Here, I can't understand why one left and if all of them are gone, what the fuck am I doing here?and WHY?

Exams are killing me. I really don't know what is wrong with me.I am overwhelmed, restless and silent. wtf?I was never this. No, actually I do speak- just the wrong things. Screw that, I am going to go cram bio now. Hope that I can keep myself from falling apart.Need prayers and miracles for these exams. AMEN