Now that you have tasted blood, would you jump?

All this summer has been about the MCAT prep. From May to July, all I did was go to Princeton Review and learn/re-learn everything about Science/VR/WS that I have ever learnt. I go through sticky notes, highlighters, pens, pencils, erasers like the stationary monster, if there was one. But now, for the last two weeks, I haven't done anything. I am scared shitless. Someone who has a cgpa twice the size of mine didnt do so well on his test, I don't know what my chances are now. I feel burnt out or maybe just lazy. I have most of my re-reading to go through and I just can't seem to focus. I am so ADHD that its not even funny. I wonder how the other folks in my class are doing/did. The test feels overwhelming. I am scared and I don't even know how and when school re-opens in the fall. Abu's here and I should have talked to him. I can't, I just can't. I have tasted blood this summer. To be there in that environment, you want it more and more. I can't imagine anything but this now. This is what I want and I am going to get there. The thing about OMSAS better be true, better help me. Next year and the year after.I wan't my spot in med school so badly. Argh, it kills me to be there, yet so far. If I hadn't fucked up in the last three or so years, I would have been better off, so MUCH better off. Um, yes.