He,with all his strength,had come to pull his brother's only son out of the rubble. The might and the determination fell 6 feet under when he heard that his daughter had already breathed her last breath. With collapsed lungs, a head injury and a major heart attack, she lay under the heap. The heap that was once the very room she had grown up in, slept numerous nights in and now was the grave she didn't deserve. How can you blame the broken father unable to move the warrior in him?That 20-year old angel didn't deserve to die. She really didn't.

So much time has passed since that october but just knowing the fact that the closer we would ever be is not in this life still crashes the universe over my head. I wish I hadn't lost my best friend/cousin/mentor/ that day. I wish I hadn't wished you bad luck that one time. I still wish that it was me rather than you who had to leave that day. My city was not a bad city. It was the anchor of my soul. My only constant in life. The constant that isn't constant anymore. Change. All changed. Now I am that constant and you are the change. This innate pain and remourse will last a life-time. Yes, even my smile will stay broken for the rest of my days. I have to come to terms with living without the city, the thought of which kept me alive through the hardest of times. The longest of days and more.

I miss all of you and the fact that I don't feel any desire to come back is because I can still picture home the way it was. The same narrow streets with the tallest of homes, with the warmest of people and the wildest of the rivers. Now, I probably won't even recognize the smell that once woke me up even after 32 hours of travel, severe jet-lag and headaches. I can't even imagine home anymore.