Romance, Catharsis, Thought: Snow

Today, we had the first proper snow of this year/session. To say the least, its gorgeous. An exquisite art work in the making. It makes me sigh and brings out that silly little romantic in me. Oh yes, if you know me well, it is impossible for me to ever admit it, but I am. Despite the fact that it hasn't happened to me yet(HAH and nor is it time for it to happen abhi)and haven't seen real romance as of yet, I still do fully beleive in romance. Its out there somewhere, just don't know where. Pshh, cheesy. But anyhow, snow is romantic.

I think it makes everything seem so nice. The brown leafless trees seem alive in the white colour(almost like virtue). All the streets seem nice and clean. All the dust from the wear in the day is all gone. Snow covers up the nasty, all of it. All the different front porches of all these homes are covered to make them look the same. Snow covers up my sorrows and guilt at least temporarily. It makes me feel strong. Empowering snow is the best. It motivates me. It makes me hope. Hope for the better. It makes me have faith in change and this time change for the good. Yes, change for the good.

For the while that I was walking outside in the street and in the cold, I felt warm. It didn't ease that hollow but it did keep me warm. Its weird though, I am just passing my days and not living them. I am not suicidal but I don't mind death. Its a weird state of mind, this and the fact that I can be at this state without any illegal/legal sedatives makes it even funnier. I don't know where my words have gone or my actions. Even with less words, I used to be able to have an influence and now with more words, it seems as though all the action is lost. I am indeed dazed and confused. The two aliases I used to go by and Lord do I hate them and that time or well atleast part of that time sucked. I am in the puddle of weirdness. I just don't know. Maybe, I will go and sleep now. Sleep deprivation during the holidays is just pure sadness.

(hollow days- DT)